Carey's Mansion for SegaRare Characters : Crazy Conker
by videogamenerd123
Summary: After he drank some root beer from a random seller, Conker caught the crazies. Can Cassidy cure him? Or, will Conker be crazy forever?


This episode starts with Conker and Cassidy fresh out of root beer.

Cassidy: OH MY GOD, CONKER! WE'RE OUT OF ROOT BEER! WE'RE OUT OF ROOT BEER!

Conker: NOOO! THIS CAN'T BE!

Conker & Cassidy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Their cries of agony were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.

Conker: I'll get it.

As Conker opened the door, a seller stands in front of him.

Conker: Hello? Wait a minute… Who are you? GO AWAY!

Conker slams the door in the seller's face and ran inside the mansion.

Conker: CASSIDY!

Cassidy: What? What's going on?

Conker: Oh, I dunno. What was it again? … Oh yeah! THERE'S A RANDOM GUY OUTSIDE OF THE DOOR!

Cassidy: OH MY GOD! *gives Conker a rock* Here, use this!

Conker runs back to the door and out of it.

Conker: May the power of this rock kill that guy. *throws the rock*

After he threw the rock, Conker hit a duck with it by mistake and sees no spy, he is not convinced though.

Conker: DON'T TRY TO FOOL ME! I KNOW YOU'RE THAT GUY I JUST SAW!

Seller: I'm right behind you.

Conker: You almost gave me a heart attack! Who the heck are you?

Seller: My name is Whosaywhatnow. But, people call me Seller. I go from door to door selling cool merchandise.

Conker: You sell ducks? What's so cool about that?

Seller: This is not my duck. By the way, it looks pretty mad at ya.

Conker: What the-

Conker got jumped by a duck. The duck bit Conker, slapped him, and quaked loudly in his face. After Conker got up, he shouted at the duck.

Conker: (angerly) YOU STUPID DUCK! (not angerly) So, what's in store?

Seller: *pulls out a Mario star* Well, I'm selling this rare star. Yeah.

Conker: That's it? Dude, the guy across the street sells more stuff than you.

Seller: You want stuff? I'LL GIVE YOU STUFF! *pulls out an old guy* What about this old guy?

Conker: (awkwardly) Uh, no.

Seller: Or, *pulls out a rock*how about this goddang rock?

Conker: That is the exact rock I used when I accidentally threw it at that duck.

The seller kept asking Conker about if he wants to buy the items. Steve walks by.

Steve: (awkwardly)I'm not even gonna ask…

Steve walks away. Conker is still uninterested.

Conker: Do you at least have anything good?

Seller: *pulls out a Justin Bieber magazine* How about a Justin Bieber magazine?

Conker: NO!

Seller: *pulls out a bottle of root beer* How about some root beer?

Conker: YES!

Seller: This is yours for $5.00

Conker: For one bottle?! … Well, I want root beer. *takes out $5.00 and gives it to the seller* Here you go. Five bucks.

Seller: Good choice, sir.

Conker runs back into the mansion very happily.

Conker: YES! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

Cassidy: What are you so happy about?

Conker: I GOT IT!

Cassidy: Got what?

Conker: Myyyy… *pulls out the root beer*PRECIOUS!

Cassidy: EW! Dude, you're spitting all over the floor! Oh, whatever. Gimme a sip!

Conker: Wait! I gotta check for poison.

Cassidy: What do you mean?

Conker: SEE YA!

Cassidy: HEY! GET BACK HERE!

Cassidy started chasing Conker. Conker went into the bathroom and lost Cassidy.

Conker: Finally! All alone.

Conker starts to drink the root beer down until the bottle was dry.

Conker: Man, this root beer tastes weird. But, there's nothing different going on with me-

Conker starts to slur.

Conker: Whoooooooooah. Ooooooooooooohhhhh yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaah!

Conker saw rainbows and flying cat rockets. He also felt his brain explode Conker is crazy. Cassidy went to the bathroom door.

Cassidy: CONKER! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! HAND OVER THE ROOT BEER!

Conker is now cross-eyed as he crazy. He ran out of the bathroom and made Cassidy fall on the floor, not laughing. Conker sang in reverse as he ran all over the place. Conker jumped down from a railing to the staircase down the floor.

Conker: I BELIEVE IN MAGIC!

Cassidy: What the heck is wrong with him?! Wait a minute… the spy… SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!

Cassidy started running her way outside.

Cassidy: CONKER! WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?!

She saw Conker on top of the mansion with jacket on his head.

Cassidy: OH… MY… GOD! WHAT THE HECK?!

Conker: I'M THE KING OF CHOCOLATE LAND! BOW BEFORE ME!

Cassidy: CONKER! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?! GET DOWN!

Conker: I SAID BOW BEFORE ME!

Cassidy: Conker… If you're really there… Do you remember your old buddy's name? Do you remember my name?

Conker went into processing mode for 10 seconds. After thinking, he jumped down.

Conker: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Conker fell on his back and didn't get up.

Cassidy: Oh god! We gotta get you to the hospital!

Cassidy took Conker to the hospital. Conker stacked every piece of furniture against the door.

Cassidy: Alright, we're here! (to Conker) By the way, you didn't have to shove everything in front of the door.

Conker: What if the zombie-tiger people come in and eat us?

Receptionist: Hello! Welcome to the Teche Hospital. How can we help you?

Cassidy: Hello. Well, my friend over here is now a psychotic maniac.

Conker: (in front of a vending machine) A toilet!

Cassidy: He drank some root beer and it probably had something in it that made him crazy.

Receptionist: Was he associated with any drug dealers, or any dangerous criminals?

Cassidy: ….No….. Not that I know of.

Conker: (in front of a vending machine) Hey! It took my money!

Receptionist: Is he violent or bad tempered?

Cassidy: No! I know him! He's never mad!

Conker: (angerly)GIMME SOME DORITOS! I WANT MY DORITOS! YOU STUPIDHEAD!

Receptionist: Where is the patient anyways?

Cassidy: Oh, Conker? He's right over there.

Conker shouts angerly as he smashes the vending machine.

Conker: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!

Cassidy takes Conker to an exam room as she sets Conker up upon an exam table.

Cassidy: Uhhh… Where's the doctor?

Receptionist: Please, be patient. He is a busy man.

In a bathroom stall, the doctor plays tetris on a GBA.

Doctor: YES! LEVEL 50! *WHOOT WHOOT*

The doctor jumps into the exam room dramatically.

Doctor: Haha! Yes! The doctor is here! What is the problem?

Cassidy: There's something wrong with Conker.

Doctor:*looks at Conker* Hmm… Yes.. I see what's what wrong with him…. His tail's too bushy!

Cassidy: True… But, he's acting weird too!

Conker: Ready to play Conker time? OK! You'll look just like me, ok? 1, 2, 3, 4.

Cassidy: Uhhh…

Conker stands up and walks on the exam table, he falls off though.

Conker: Oh no! I fallen! And I can't get up!

Doctor: I don't see anything wrong with him… But, he either has rare disease, or just reeeealy stupid.

Cassidy: Aww man! C'mon, Conker, let's go. …Are you sleeping with your eyes open?...

Conker and Cassidy went back to the mansion. Outside,

Cassidy: Well, I guess my best friend has to be crazy… What do you wanna do, Conker? Conker? Where are you now? Oh god! He must've wandered off while we went back home. Where is he?! CONKER!

Meanwhile, Conker is walking in town. He saw an abandoned Sega/Rare Character that laughed evily at him. Conker shot him/her with a hand gun. Conker started crawling backwards while singing backwards.

Meanwhile, Cassidy is trying to use a GPS.

Cassidy: C'mon, work! This stupid Conker GPS isn't working! *throws the GPS* CHEAP JUNK!

Steve: OW! WATCH IT!

Cassidy: Sorry, Steve! I'M JUST TICKED! Oh god! Conker must be dead by now, or being beat up!

Meanwhile, Conker is running around very fast in circles and making sounds.

Person: HEY YOU!

Conker: Yeeeaas?

Person: SHUTTUP!

Conker: FINE!

Conker flies for a short time and starts to run around in circles and making noises.

Person: REALLY?!

Meanwhile, Cassidy is looking for Conker.

Cassidy: CONKER! CONKER! CONKER!

Meanwhile, Conker is caught by a robber.

Robber: HEY! GIMME YOUR MONEY!

Conker: Did you say an old guy?

Robber: No, I said money! Dumb dumb!

Conker: A bag of doritos?

Robber: YOUR WALLET! GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

Conker: You want me to dance?

Robber: YOU'RE SO STUPID I CAN'T EVEN ROB YOU!

The robber left Conker unstolen.

Conker: What?

Cassidy: CONKER! WHERE ARE YOU?! *sees Conker* CONKER!

Conker: DAD!

Conker and Cassidy started running towards each other. Conker started to crawl on the ground for a little bit.

Conker: Movin' on the ground, movin' on the ground. Hehehe.

Conker and Cassidy started running towards each other again. But, Cassidy didn't see Conker with her.

Cassidy: Huh? What the heck?!

Conker is crawling on a person.

Conker: I LOVE YOU, MAN!

Person: Can someone get this guy off of me, please?

Cassidy: C'mon, Conker.

Conker started running and spinning.

Conker: Oh no! It's Conker spinning time.

Conker and Cassidy got back to the front yard of the mansion.

Cassidy: Ok, Conker, since you're gonna be like this forever, or maybe at least until this craziness wares off, we're gonna have to set some rules. 1- You will be known as TikTok. 2- You will work for me.

Conker: Derp!

Cassidy: That's what I thought!

Conker: *jibberish talking*

Conker walks off somewhere.

Cassidy: Hey! Where are you going? TikTok! What are you doing?

Conker: *takes out a handgun* I WANNA BE THE CHOCOLATE KING!

Cassidy: What? What chocolate king?! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!

Conker: I WANNA BE THE CHOCOLATE KING NOW!

Cassidy: OK! OK! YOU CAN BE CHOCOLATE KING! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!

Conker: Go make some chocolate pudding for the king!

Cassidy: OK OK! The TikTok thing was a joke! Just stop being like this!

Conker: AND THE GREAT, POWERFUL KING WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Cassidy: Meep… AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Cassidy started screaming as she ran into the mansion.

Cassidy: STEVE, HELP!

Steve: What do you want?

Cassidy: CONKER… CRAZY!... DERP!... TIKTOK… CHOCOLATE KING!

Steve: Good for you, now get out of my face!

Cassidy: Conker is crazy! How the heck am I supposed to fix this mess?!

Out of nowhere, a wizard appeared.

Wizard: Did someone say "Wizard"?

Cassidy: AAHH! GOD NO! WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?

Wizard: I am the Wizard.

Cassidy: Just Wizard?

Justin(wizard): I am a wizard, but my name's Justin Russo.

Cassidy: From "Wizards of Waverly Place"? I love that show!

Justin: Yeah, everyone does. And I came here because someone screamed like a girl.

Cassidy: (offended)Hey! That was me! (not offended) Look, my friend is crazy! Can you stop it?

Justin: Ah, a case of 'ol "Crazy friend". I can fix that! I met a guy with a crazy friend before.

Cassidy: Can you just get on with it, please?!

Justin: You need to fight your friend in a magical duel.

Cassidy: A magical duel? What good does that do? How does that make my friend not crazy?

Justin: Crazy people will think they are Harry Potter.

Cassidy: Ok… But, how am I supposed to defeat my friend?

Justin: *takes out a wand* Take this wand! It's been in the Russo family for many years. So, be careful there are rule about this-

Cassidy: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I don't need to know how to twirl a magic wand or magic things to happen! I need to get on with it! Let's go uncrazy my friend already!

Cassidy took the wand and ran outside.

Cassidy: Conker?

Conker is on the top of the mansion with his jacket on his head again.

Conker: I am the king of chocolate land! Bow before me!

Cassidy: (to herself) Not again! (to Conker) Conker! I challenge you to a magic battle!

Then, they ended up in an arena in the black, blue, and red sky. Conker and Cassidy each had a magician hat on their heads. The hats looked like blue party hat with yellow stars and one yellow star on the pointy top.

Conker: Bring it on, fat poopy pants!

Cassidy: Umm… What did you call me? Anyways, let the battle commence! *takes out her magic wand* Umm… Abra-ka EAT THIS! *throws the wand* OOPS!

Steve: OW!

Cassidy: Steve, why are you here?

Steve: Well I WAS rooting for you, but now I'm rooting for Conker.

Conker: Hehehe!

Cassidy: Ooh dang-

After the battle, Cassidy crawled into the mansion. She looked black as if she has been burned.

Cassidy: ow…

Steve: Well, that battle didn't end well.

Cassidy: I'll say.

Justin: So, how'd it go?

Cassidy: Conker kicked my butt and burned me to a crisp. *shakes the black off* That's better, but I'm still sore. And… I lost your wand…

Justin: YOU LOST MY WAND?! Well, I could just buy another one from Wal-mart.

Cassidy: (angerly)What? Dude, not cool!

Conker came in.

Conker: (to Cassidy)It's time for you to die.

Cassidy: AAAAHHH!

Conker: When I'm done with you, you know where you're gonna end up?

Cassidy: Umm… Wonderland?

Conker: Ooh, the tunnel of doom. Very scary!

Cassidy:*runs away* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Conker: HAAAA HAAAA HAAA-

Out of nowhere, a Mario 1-up mushroom came up on Conker and cured him. His eyes are back to normal, he's no longer insane.

Conker: Hey, guys, what's happening?

Then, Cassidy still thought Conker is insane and started kicking and punching him.

Cassidy: (angerly)THAT'S IT! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Conker: OW! CASSIDY, STOP! I'M NOT CRAZY ANYMORE!

Cassidy: Wait… You aren't? THANK GOD! How did you change back to normal?

Conker: A 1-up mushroom.

Cassidy: GREAT!

Conker: Wanna go to the arcade?

Cassidy: Totally! I still can't believe you drank the root beer you got from- Wait a minute…

Conker & Cassidy: (angerly)The seller! Let's get him!

Then, Conker and Cassidy started looking for the seller.

The end.


End file.
